(Black lives matter and)

Black lives matter and

science matters and free, fair

elections matter.

(There must be a reason)

There must be a reason
my suburban neighborhood
smells like a farm.

(Diarrhea)

Diarrhea:
An ugly word to spell;
an even uglier word to experience.

(When I was a kid)

When I was a kid,
I thought your peanut snacks were
weird.  Now I eat them.

(Even great human)

Even great human
beings have great weaknesses.
No one is exempt.

(Our farewell at the)

Our farewell at the
airport left me smelling like
your perfume all day.

(The only acceptable form of)

The only acceptable form of
discrimination in any office building:
All fish should be banned from the microwaves.

(He chuffs, sluffs and scuffs )

He chuffs, sluffs and scuffs
around the office in his
oversize loafers.

(I’m sitting next to)

I'm sitting next to
Mr. Whistle Nose; across
from Ms. Walnut Chip Lips.

(Rainbow tomatoes:)

Although I did not claim a prize in this year's Tomato Haiku Contest, I enjoyed creating entries like this: 

Rainbow tomatoes:
Cherry, peach, yellow pear, green
grape, berry and plum

(Mr. McDreamy)

Although I did not claim a prize in this year's Tomato Haiku Contest, I enjoyed creating entries like this:

Mr. McDreamy
is no Tiny Tim -- Big Beef
and plump tomberries!

(Ladies, please do not)

Ladies, please do not
leave your bloody spots on the
office toilet seat.

(Is he spitting to)

Is he spitting to
appear manly or is that
his normal habit?

(She sits in her cube)

She sits in her cube
laughing at her monitor
like a psychopath.

(Real people)

Real people
know "reel people"
aren't real people.

(wondering why the)

wondering why the
black sedan is speeding with
the hazard lights on

(Moment of gratitude:)

Moment of gratitude:
Rolling over to see my spouse
sleeping peacefully next to me

(Saturday: Saw my)

Saturday: Saw my
old pastor.  Sunday: Resumed
my Jonestown research.

(plain, green tea)

plain, green tea:
hot, liquid grass
in a cup

(Why does she insist)

Why does she insist
on talking to me when I
am wearing headphones?