A Love-Hate Relationship

I crave you

because you were my

best friend and partner

for 16 years.

I loathe you

because you

abandoned and rejected me

and destroyed our family.

Ex

Ex

Excise

Exorcism

Taciturn Lackey

When we met,

I was unfamiliar with

the words "taciturn" and "lackey."

But you introduced 

them to me

in our early days of love,

when things were new and exciting.

Who would have known that,

16 years later,

you would literally become

a "taciturn lackey" 

for your new best friend

who ended our marriage

when you left me

to start a life

serving as her silent servant.

A Deep, Abiding Sadness

Realizing and registering

the fact that your spouse has

rejected and abandoned you

results in a deep, abiding sadness.

Accepting the fact

must surely result

in a wound that never quite heals.

Not Without You

I don't want to be in this town

without you.

But I don't want to be anywhere else

without you, either.

(I feel the effects of the divorce)

I feel the effects of the divorce

in every cell

of my being.

(You don’t)

You don't

want me

anymore.

Special

I thought I was

special to you.

You married me,

after all.

After 16 years,

it turns out that

she 

is special to you.

Sharing But Not Caring

I want to share everything

with you, my love; my spouse.

And you want to share everything

with her, your new "best friend."

Absolutely Asinine

Best Wishes

You and I have been

together for 16 years

and married for 13.

I have been 100 percent

faithful to you and

provided for you.

Yet, you choose to

dump me and

throw away

our life together

to move in with someone

you met online

and have known

in real life

for less than a year --

someone you have only

physically been in the same

room with for a total of five getaway trips;

someone who is

not attracted to you

and does not

wish to be in a romantic

relationship with you

but yet virtually demands that you

wake up in the middle of every

night to text with her for three hours,

listening to her every thought and whim

again and again, over and over,

never making room for your thoughts

or questions during the day

or otherwise;

someone who speaks poorly

of people who are not

stick figures with eating disorder

and Botox appointments.

You are deserting a spouse

who consistently cultivates

friendships and environments

for us to connect with people

for someone who actively

avoids any healthy engagements

with friends and cohorts,

sequestering herself form any outside

healthy interaction.

You are abandoning me

and our generally peaceful home

for a household of constant chaos.

You are leaving our 

spacious home -- 

a house you picked out -- 

in a state and climate you love

to sleep on a twin mattress

on the floor of the

shoe-boxed size bedroom

of your new best friend's little boy

in a state and climate that you hate.

A Time to Weep

A friend told me that now is

"a time to re-evaluate what you

need and want your life to look like."

But I had what I wanted:

a spouse, a dog, a house; a family.

And you ripped it all away from me.