Besides

My Poetry B-sides

Thursday, December 08, 2016

(When I was a kid)

When I was a kid,
I thought your peanut snacks were
weird.  Now I eat them.

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Wednesday, December 07, 2016

(Even great human)

Even great human
beings have great weaknesses.
No one is exempt.

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Friday, July 22, 2016

(Our farewell at the)

Our farewell at the
airport left me smelling like
your perfume all day.

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Thursday, May 12, 2016

Missed and Pissed

How is it that a grown woman
misses the toilet at work, pees on the floor
and leaves her mess behind?

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Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Keeping Up Appearances

A complimentary co-worker told me that I have
"the best skin and hair."
But he doesn't know that
I pay good money
to keep up appearances.
I spend a fortune on highlights and haircuts
and earth-friendly hair products.
He doesn't realize that I cover up
my natural skin with all kinds of makeup.
He doesn't understand that -- 
sans the many beauty enhancements --
I have thin, dull, dirty blonde hair and
pale, blotchy, acne-scarred skin.
He doesn't know that he would likely
find me
ugly.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2016

(The only acceptable form of)

The only acceptable form of
discrimination in any office building:
All fish should be banned from the microwaves.

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Saturday, March 19, 2016

(He chuffs, sluffs and scuffs )

He chuffs, sluffs and scuffs
around the office in his
oversize loafers.

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